May 16, 2004 (Washington, DC) -
During his famous May 10th speech, President Bush lashed out against Batman, calling the Gotham City crime fighter a liberal buffoon. The day after, at approximately 3:20 P.M., the President heard what sounded like a telephone ringing under his desk. Upon discovering a secret hatch after lifting up a square of carpet, President Bush discovered a black rotary phone with a bat signal engraved into the receiver. He picked the phone up. The following is a recording of the phone conversation shared:
BUSH: This is President Bush.
BATMAN: Mr. President. Glad you're home.
BUSH: How did you get this number?
BATMAN: I gave it to Lyndon Johnson in 1965.
BUSH: Who is this?
BATMAN: Caped Crusader. I heard your speech yesterday, Mr. President. I'm afraid I wasn't moved by it.
BUSH: It wasn't supposed to move you.
BATMAN: Yes, I'm aware. You lashed out at me. Called me a liberal buffoon, you diabolical fiend.
BUSH: Yes, I certainly did. You publicly question my actions and relegated my-
BATMAN: Tell me, Mr. President. Does the sun shine where you are right now?
BUSH: Yes, it does.
BATMAN: Any thoughts on that?
BUSH: Any thoughts on what?
BATMAN: Tell me, Mr. President. How does a fiendishly malignant codfish such as yourself look at himself in the mirror everyday and not wonder why the sky is blue?
BUSH: You're not making any sense, Caped Crusader.
BATMAN: Am I? Or am I making so much sense that I just blew your mind?
BUSH: Was that an interpolation of a quote from Seinfeld?
BATMAN: Great Scott! I think I just solved this riddle! What has four eyes, picks grapes and only comes out in the afternoon?
BUSH: I don't know. What?
BATMAN: The mere diametric of this evil enigma are too immaculate to even contemplate.
BUSH: Huh?
BATMAN: I think I know where I might find a clue, Mr. President. We must leave immediately!
We hear the phone drop, running, an engine revving and tires screeching.
BUSH: Hello? Hello?
