In a major economic address today, United States President George W. Bush announced that the rent money is missing and somebody took it.
He failed to speculate on who might have taken the rent, other than to say it was probably "those darned Democrats. Always gettin' inta mah shtuff. Heh heh."
In a related announcement, Bush also claimed he has "no idea" where mom's wedding ring went, or the neighbor's lawn mower. He further expressed surprise that dad's circular saw was seen in the window of the pawn shop, and claimed "a person or persons unknown" put the pawn tickets in the bottom of his sock drawer under the Playboy magazines.
Police are investigating each of these cases and anyone with information is encouraged to come forward.
