Frosty Admits Drug Abuse

Funny story written by misha marinsky

Friday, 4 April 2008

image for Frosty Admits Drug Abuse
Frosty

NORTH POLE - In an interview with the Anchorage Daily News, Frosty The Snowman has admitted to abusing OxyContin, and being addicted to cocaine.

"I first started using OxyContin when I was pummeled by neighborhood ruffians," he told the paper. "Then, I couldn't stop. I was hooked. I didn't go to a rehab facility because I was afraid of melting." He continued, "Soon the OxyContin wasn't enough, and a passerby offered me cocaine. He held it up to my nose, while I inhaled. When I was getting the full effect of it, I felt invincible, like I would never melt." He said that he and the person agreed to meet everyday.

Frosty told the paper that withdrawal without professional help was "painful, difficult and complicated. I mean, I'm immobile."

He said he has been drug free since last Spring, but his color is now off white.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more