Frosty Admits Drug Abuse

Funny story written by misha marinsky

Friday, 4 April 2008

image for Frosty Admits Drug Abuse
Frosty

NORTH POLE - In an interview with the Anchorage Daily News, Frosty The Snowman has admitted to abusing OxyContin, and being addicted to cocaine.

"I first started using OxyContin when I was pummeled by neighborhood ruffians," he told the paper. "Then, I couldn't stop. I was hooked. I didn't go to a rehab facility because I was afraid of melting." He continued, "Soon the OxyContin wasn't enough, and a passerby offered me cocaine. He held it up to my nose, while I inhaled. When I was getting the full effect of it, I felt invincible, like I would never melt." He said that he and the person agreed to meet everyday.

Frosty told the paper that withdrawal without professional help was "painful, difficult and complicated. I mean, I'm immobile."

He said he has been drug free since last Spring, but his color is now off white.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot