Incoming New York governor, David Paterson and his wife, admit to having affairs...while being sworn into office

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

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Members of the press pool the first to know of the Paterson's' infidelities…because they had a front row seat

New York, New York - While being sworn into the New York governor's office, now former lieutenant governor, David Paterson and his wife had sexual affairs. The announcement came just moments after Paterson completed his oath of office, taking everybody in attendance by surprise.

According to the newly sworn New York governor, he and his wife wanted to admit their infidelity, which took place right there at the ceremony just moments earlier while on stage behind the podium, before its was leaked to the media.

Members of the press pool were among the first to become suspicious that the then lieutenant governor and his wife were cheating on each other during the ceremony because Paterson, who with his affirmations to uphold the duties of his new position, repeatedly kept interrupting the judge trying to administer the New York governor's oath of office.

    "Do you, Lieutenant Governor, David Paterson --" said the judge as Paterson suddenly interrupted him.

    "Yes, " said Lieutenant Governor, David Paterson.

    "-- Hereby swear, --" continued the judge.

    "Yes, yes," said Lieutenant Governor, David Paterson

    "-- Do you hereby swear to faithfully carry out your duties --" again continued the judge.

    "Oh, yes. That's it. Oh, baby, that it!" said Lieutenant Governor, David Paterson.

    "-- To the best of your abilities? --" once again continued the judge.

    "Oh, God…oh, my God…YES!"

    "Then I hereby declare you the Governor of New York," blurted out the judge, who quickly exited the stage.

The duly sworn in New York governor then shook his head and cleared his voice before addressing the shocked audience, consisting of VIPs, members of the media and political dignitaries gathered for the ceremony. All of who sat in absolute silence as they looked on in utter amazement at what they just witnessed.

"Ladies and gentlemen," said Paterson, the New York governor. "As my first order of business, my lovely wife and I have a confession to make. Right now, as I was taking the oath of office, as you just witnessed, we cheated on each other. I'm not proud of what we just did and I want you to know that although they were with city employees, that neither personally benefit from their affairs with either of us. You and the people of the great state of New York have my assurance that my wife and I will continue to work hard at saving our marriage and that the past is behind us."

Paterson went on to disclose that both he and his wife were seeing a marriage counselor, but then quickly added it was nothing serious.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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