In political news, Bill Clinton is filing for divorce from President hopeful Hilary Clinton. There is much scandal and question as to why Bill would do something like this, when he has a good chance of being back in the White House. Sources close to the political powerhouse (Hilary, not Bill) are mystified. However, Obama is absolutely thrilled with what Clinton is about to do.
"I feel bad for Hilary, really I do, but I think it is kind of a divine justice so to speak, " Obama has told reporters.
In a press conference earlier this today, Bill told reporters that he is divorcing Hilary. This is what he had to say, "After much consideration, I have decided that Hilary and I are no longer compatible. I guess you could say, we have irreconsilable differences."
Though stumped and confused, the reporters could not get anymore information out of Bill.
"This is highly unusual. Usually, we can't shut Bill up," explains reporter Nanya M'Biznus.
After much digging, lying, and sexual favors this reporter has finally drawn out the reasons for this divorce. It appears that Hilary has had a secret lover for many years. This didn't bother Bill so much, he figured Hil stood by him, he would stand by her.
"That's how I was going to handle this. I was going to do for her, what she did for me," Clinton told me as we were in bed. "But I did tell Hil I wanted to meet this mystery man. She laughed and said ok."
It turns out Hilary's mystery man was actually 27 year old, international model, Inga Myahs. Bill stated, "I actually got very excited by this. I mean come on. It would be great. Me, in a threesome, with a beautiful blonde and my wife."
Alas, it wasn't meant to be. Hilary told Bill she wouldn't share Inga. That's when Bill realized the true reason Hilary stood by him all those years ago. "She wasn't worried, she was sleeping with much better looking women than I was. Inga wasn't her first nor will she be her last. I was devestated. She had all these great pieces of ass, and she let me get it on with "Blow Job" Lowinsky and the "Big Nosed" chick? That was it, I was done. I filed for divorce the very next day."
Obama supporters are floored as to why Barrack is so thrilled. One supporter states, "That dumbass doesn't realize Hilary just clinched the gay community. Now yes she alienated the religious community, but dammit, they are equal in numbers."
Hilary couldn't be reached for comment at this time. The reason being, she is enjoying a bit of a break with Inga and Inga's new bikini team. Though her assistant said that she would get back to me. Or at least I believe that is what her assistant said, her voice was kind of muffled.
