Administration Seeks Shredding Contractor

Funny story written by Unconfirmed Source

Wednesday, 28 April 2004

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Presidential Shredder!

Unconfirmed sources report that the Bush administration has quietly sought bids for post election document shredding. The shredding contract is said to be the largest ever bid by an american shredding company. Our sources indicate that the estimated shredding needs of an outgoing Bush administration will overwhelm the massive White House document destruction system.

The White House system which includes shredding and burnings systems is capable of destroying several tons of documents per day and is run by a crew of 7, not including the staff needed to collect the documents. One White House worker confirmed that the system will be totally inadequate for the task. "We'll run a double shift for sure, but we are barely keeping up with the amount evidence we are destroying already."

"If we get the contract," one company office explained,"we will probably have to call in other companies to help with the load. We will need a fleet of truck mounted shredders as well as many dozens of smaller units that can be taken into secure areas."

In addition to the mountains of incriminating documents that will need to be destroyed the contract asks for bids on computer, magnetic disk and human body disposal.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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