Saturday, 1 March 2008

image for North Carolina Lottery Eliminates Number 4

Raleigh, North Carolina (IPP) - The North Carolina lottery has announced that the number Four (4) has been removed from the PICK 3 game. In its place an additional Zero (0) and or Nine (9) have been added in an alternating system. The number Four (4) has not appeared in the last 25 draws of the PICK 3 game.

North Carolina Dempsey Dumpster III who is the brother of Kentucky's governor, Dempsey Dumpster IV, told the press that the removal of number 4 went into effect a few days ago. He said he can not recall the exact day that the number was replaced because he was in Las Vegas on that day. "I think in was in Vegas", said the Governor, "I am having a difficult time remembering what when on while I was out there. I was there to play the slot machines and I am not afraid to put that out in the open. There is nothing wrong nor illegal about that. Me and the missus are entitled to time off just like anybody else".

It was refreshing for reporters to hear a politician be so honest and forthcoming.

A reporter asked the Governor which slot machines he liked the most. Dempsey, as he likes to be called, stated that he likes "Any "real" Vegas styled slot machine with a triple Seven as the winner." His wife prefers the "Wheel-of-Fortune machines. We don't care as much for video styled card games."

Governor Dempsey then described how he plays. "I like to play the machines near the end of the Isles and I usually will start off with the quarter machines and if I get up around $1,000 I will cash out and then play the Dollar machines. My wife starts off on the quarter Wheel-of-Fortune machines and then will graduate to the dollar machine of the same game. You can tell if you have a good machine because it will let you keep winning so you can play for a while without putting in additional money."

The Governor continued the details with, "Eventually a good machine will let you get ahead and when you reach a point five or ten times or more higher than the amount of money you started with you cash out. The best thrill of all is when you hit a good one right off the bat. When you win you go and take a break at the buffet line and then go back and play the dollar machines at the end of their aisles using the same strategy. Another tip is that when you accumulate a few hundred dollars that you keep them as large bills and put them aside to take home. Knowing when to quit is the most important aspect of this game and often the most difficult. Just remember that you will feel even better about your wins when you take them home."

The Governor's limousine pulled up and he and his wife waved goodbye and from there he was taken to the airport. As the crowd of reporters broke up one of their conversations was accidently overheard. One reporter asked another one if "he would like to go and get some lunch" and the other reporter said, "No thanks, I think I'll go over to the Indian Casino for a while and try my luck on the Wheel-of-Fortune, how about you ?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Lottery

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
79 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more