Clinton Fundraising Fiasco: Not the Lincoln Bedroom

Funny story written by Rob Bruce

Saturday, 24 November 2007

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New York, USA -- Well, if you think Hillary Clinton's campaign is sailing smoothly along, that she is untouchable for the Democratic Nomination and will easily defeat Rudolf Guiliani for the Presidency, so does she. She has built a formidable political machine that has been crunching the opposition in its wake.

Her confidence (or over-confidence) has led to some interesting fund raising strategies, with the Clintons guaranteeing a stay in the Lincoln Bedroom for a weekend with each $100,000 donation. This will work fine for Mrs. Clinton if she is elected, but what if the wheels blow off of her campaign and she should somehow fail to win. What is your $100,000 guarantee good for?

Former President Bill Clinton has personally guaranteed a full refund for anyone who ponies up the $100,000 if his wife does not get elected. He said, "if she doesn't win? Heck I'll double their money, have you seen who she's running against," and then he laughed heartily.

Rudolf Guiliani was not laughing as loud, but did let out a sinister chortle in response. "I think that once I am elected I'll move myself into the Lincoln bedroom and start renting out the Clinton Bedroom. Oh wait, there's a problem, we'd have to pay people to stay there."

Political analyst Bob Stephanopolous, George's younger brother stated that, "This could be Disasterous for the Clintons. This could be seen as one of the most arrogant things ever done in the name of fundraising in America. If they don't win now, they'll be on the hook for millions. How do you tell someone like Steven Spielberg that he can't sleep in the Lincoln bedroom? This could spell financial ruin for the former President."

Others purported to be on the list to get into the Lincoln bedroom include Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, Rosie O'Donnell, Elton John and Woody Allen. Mr. Spielberg was rumoured to have said, "Woody Allen, I'm not staying there after him, I'd better be before him."

The Primaries are just weeks away.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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