Benazir Bhutto - "saviour of Pakistan's poor" - to model for House of Hermes

Funny story written by shea lo

Friday, 23 November 2007

image for Benazir Bhutto - "saviour of Pakistan's poor" - to model for House of Hermes
let them eat cake

Stating, "She's the epitome of Glam-bam-thank you maam", the fashion house Hermes has signed a multi-billion dollar contract with wannabe, 3rd time Prime Minister of Pakistan, Benazir Bhutto.

Spokesperson Fifi Froufrou told reporters:

"Madame Bhutto is 'ow you say - such a universelle example of oppressed women everywhere. Despite living in exile she has managed to keep her sense of elan".

Complimenting the woman, who in her previous 2 terms as Prime Minister, managed to empty the Pakistani coffers, Ms Froufrou marvelled at Ms, Bhutto's "lovely soft skin; elegantly draped Hermes scarves, designer shalwaar-kameez outfits, fire-red lipstick, diamond-studded sunglasses."

It was this, coupled with a whining, nasal, phony, put-on, English accent that have made her the 'darling of the deprived in Pakistan".

According to Ms. Froufrou - Mother Theresa - bless 'er 'eart, was the true saviour of the slums but "Mon Dieu, could she not 'ave used a leetle moisturizer now and then? Zut alors, did she 'ave to look like a crumpled, wrinkled figure carved out of an apple?"

In this new role, Ms. Bhutto - in a tribute to her home province- will put out her own line of "Skincare for my wrinkled Sindhi sisters", which will then be followed by "Pedicure creams for panting pedestrians" and the ever-popular "Anti-wrinkle sculpting mud for miserably hungry mothers."

Ms. Bhutto said she was 'ecstatic' with this deal that had been engineered by the White House and No. 10 Downing St.

"It is always important for women to look their best when they are beaten up by the police and thrown into jail. A good skin care regime gives one a head start and will carry one through a week of rigorous confinement", she added.

Claiming she had "heard the voice of MY PEOPLE - the poor who will be always sacrificing their lives for me". Ms. Bhutto said she would be amending her campaign slogan Roti-kapraah-makaan [Food-clothing-shelter] to now read:

"Roti!Kapraah! Makaan! Benazir's skincare! Buy two-get one free!! Only 10% to hubby Asif Ali Zardari".

Hermes will be producing the silk banners with the distinctive inter-twined gold-embroidered BB logo in time for the upcoming "free and fair elections and the graaaduuuuated traaahnsition to demaaaacraaacy".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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