WASHINGTON, DC - French President Nicolas Sarkozy has touched down on U.S. soil, as he seeks to strengthen ties between the U.S. and France.
In its own attempt to warm the relationship between the two countries, which has been tenuous since those wimpy French refused to enter the Iraq war, the White House is encouraging Americans to drop the whole 'freedom fries' bit and start referring to them as 'French fries' once again.
The use of 'French' as an adjective proceeding any noun was banned in the U.S. following France's refusal to join the 'Coalition of the Willing and Awesome' in the 2003 liberation of Iraq. Since that time, any person on American soil heard uttering "French" in any way not demeaning to France was to be immediately sent to the American military base in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where they would undergo a 'mental and physical restructuring' (which does not constitute torture as defined in the Constitution - So there you whiny-ass liberals!).
Americans are also being discouraged from burning French flags when Sarkozy is looking, or referring to residents of France as 'those whiny bastards who support terrorism'. They should be referred to merely as 'pussies'.