FEMA: Fake News Better Than Real News

Funny story written by funwithwords

Saturday, 27 October 2007

image for FEMA: Fake News Better Than Real News
Bush, Consulting with the Minister for Public Enlightenment and Propaganda

Washington D.C. -- The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), held a fake news conference for itself today. Vice Adm. Harvey E. Johnson, deputy administrator of FEMA, was quoted as saying soon after reports emerged of the staged news conference, "Well, this was probably the easiest news conference I've ever held. We'll probably do this more often." Asked if he saw a conflict of interest with the federal government deceptively manufacturing its own news and reality, Johnson noted, "Well of course not. If it works for the President, then it's good for FEMA."

TheSpoof! has since obtained a copy of the faked news conference transcripts. Among some of the questions asked of Adm. Harvey Johnson by FEMA employees posing as reporters was, "are you a nice man?" Another, yet more difficult, question posed to the deputy administrator concerned the California fires, "Sir, do you wish these fires had never happened?" inquired another "reporter," to which Mr. Johnson answered, "Good question. No -- err, I mean Yes, yes I wish these fires had never occurred."

Perhaps the easiest question asked by one of the audience members posing as reporters was at the very beginning, "Sir, what is your name, Mr. Johnson?" However, perhaps the most interesting question was when the Admiral had to consult his notes: "Sir, what does FEMA stand for anyway?" asked one fake reporter, to which Mr. Johnson stated, "Great question. FEMA stands for Federal Management Administration. I take that back, FEMA stands for... Federal... Emergency Management Admini -- Agency. Thank you whoever it was that said that. It's been a long day."

It will be noted that the propaganda controversy has followed the Bush Presidency for years now. In addition to this latest example involving FEMA, the General Accounting Office has rebuked the Bush Administration in the past for breaking federal laws for "disseminating covert propaganda" involving the Department of Health and Human Services, as well as secretly hiring commentator Armstrong Williams for purposes of pimping the Republican Party, and Bush's education policies.

And the list continues. For instance, conservative commentator, George Will's criticism of the Bush Administration: No Ad Left Behind. Other stories include: White House-friendly reporter under scrutiny; U.S. Is Said to Pay to Plant Articles in Iraq Papers; Beyond Spin; Pentagon rolls out stealth PR; The USDA on Iraq: Everything's Coming Up Rosy; Bush 'planted fake news stories on American TV'; The War They Wanted, The Lies They Needed; UK newspaper criticised for republishing unsubstantiated Bush Administration propaganda; GAO Slams Illegal ONDCP Propaganda Masquerading as 'News', and on and on and on.

Almost shockingly, as the news broke of this latest attempt at faking the news by this administration, the White House attempted to distance itself from the matter. White House spokesperson, Dana Perino claimed, "It is not a practice that we would employ here at the White House." She also called the matter an "error in judgment," and added, "It's not something I would have condoned. And they - I'm sure - will not do it again."

Despite Perino's statements, there is no official word yet on whether the Bush White House plans to end its reliance on the very same tactics: Fake News Gets White House OK.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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