RNC Nabs Fugitive Bill Murray

Funny story written by SpaceElevator

Tuesday, 28 August 2007

image for RNC Nabs Fugitive Bill Murray
Constable William Murray apprehends fugitive Bill Murray

St. John's, Newfoundland (CBC) - After a two-day manhunt using some of Newfoundland's finest detective work, Bill Murray was located around 3 a.m. on Sunday. Murray, 53, had been missing since Friday.

On Saturday, the Royal Newfoundland Constabulary (RNC) issued a bulletin saying Bill Murray had disappeared Friday. They asked for the public's assistance with information on Murray's whereabouts or his vehicle, described as a red 2005 Pontiac Montana (license plate HKP 544).

A breakthrough came on Sunday, when reclusive fur trapper Brian Doyle-Murray (no relation) noticed a suspicious vehicle that matched that description near the Lower Lumbar River.

Mr. Murray, who bears a slight resemblance to the actor Bill Murray, is presently under an ethics investigation involving $2.7 million (Canadian) worth of various trinkets and keepsakes -- including pen sets, plaques, plates, lapel pins, refrigerator magnets, and six dozen gold rings.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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