Al Gore Jr. Charged with felony drug-possession; faces 2 years in jail; Lawyers to use 'Fruit from the Poisoned Tree' defense over dad's objection

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Sunday, 22 July 2007

image for Al Gore Jr. Charged with felony drug-possession; faces 2 years in jail; Lawyers to use 'Fruit from the Poisoned Tree' defense over dad's objection
Al Gore: Which one will it be? The earth or my son's freedom? I wonder what Mother Teresa would do?

San Diego, California - Al Gore Jr. was formerly charge with felony drug-possession and one moving violation that stemmed form his traffic stop for speeding which resulted in his arrest on July 4th. If convicted on the more serious charge, Gore Jr., 24, faces a minimum of 2 years in federal prison without parole, said the District Attorney. His arraignment is set for August 1, in Laguna Niguel, California, not giving his attorneys much time, leaving them scrambling for a defense.

"With the little time we have, we have little choice but to go with the 'Fruit from the Poisoned Tree' defense," said an attorney for Gore Jr.

Reportedly, his attorney's are preparing to argue that, that traffic stop for driving over the posted speed limit on July 4th which yielded all those felony drug-possession charges where ill gotten and must be thrown out because their client, Al Gore Jr., was stopped illegally.

"He was allegedly driving a hundred miles an hour," said his attorney. "Come on, you expect a jury to believe that? For God's sake, he was driving a Toyota Hybrid, Prius."

It is the intent of the defense attorneys not to pick apart the District Attorney's case but rather get the Court to throw out all evidence gathered during that fateful traffic stop and in that way avoid having to fight the insurmountable felony drug-possession charges.

"Key to that legal strategy is attacking the environmentally sound Toyota Hybrid, Prius actual road performance, rather that what the manufacturer and the EPA post on the sticker," said an attorney for GM, manufactures of the Hummer.

"Everybody knows that no environmentally sound car can go that fast," continued the attorney for Gore Jr. "And we intend to prove it by calling in no other than the world's foremost expert on the environment, leader of the international effort to stop global warming and Earth Live, Al Gore Sr., to the stand."

The legal strategy is rumored to be placing a wedge, to say the least, between Al Gore Sr. who has personally, publicly and politically commitment his life to stopping the effects of global warming and his son's personal liberty.

"I have not heard of such internal conflict and turmoil between a man's beliefs, and the life of his son, since, since, well, since God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac," said a close friend of the Gore family.

A prepared statement released just this morning by Al Gore Sr. spokesperson relayed the following: "Al Gore Sr. can neither confirm nor deny that he will take the stand on behalf of his son's defense. Or for that matter, on behalf of the prosecutioners side against his son."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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