Written by Evan Essence

Tuesday, 31 July 2007

image for Bush Proposes Making the Ostrich Our National Bird

Due to the rather embarrassing fact, that our country's blatant disregard for the environment, nearly drove our country's national bird, the Bald Eagle, to extinction, there are now more ostriches living in captivity in zoos, in America, than there are Bald Eagles living in the wild.

This has led the Bush administration to assert that the Ostrich more nearly characterizes out national spirit, than the majestic, but nearly extinct, bald eagle. The ostrich is famous for burying its head in the sand, rather than facing its problems, directly.

Polls show that 75% of Americans think global warming is a major problem, and 82% want the government to do something about it, but 93% say they don't plan to do anything about it, themselves.

James Hansen, Director of the NASA Goddard Institute for Space Studies, said recently that sea ice in the Arctic is declining at a rate of nine percent per decade.

Numerous suggestions have been made, on how the average citizen can contribute the the lessening of greenhouse gases, which cause global warming....including buying a hybrid car, using more mass transit, or taking advantage of tax incentives to place solar panels on their homes.

But, in spite of these, and many other suggestions, most Americans plan to do nothing.

"NASAR....?!?. Ain't them the ones who made them fake videos foolin' folks inta thinkn' we landed on the moon?!? I wouldn't place no stock in them!", said Pittsburg resident Billy Bertrand.

With major draughts recorded from Europe to Australia, this year, and record heat waves in the western United States igniting over 1000 fires, so far this summer, US citizens are being forced to take notice of Global Warming.

"Its as hot as Hades around here!" said Sacramento accountant, Fred Greene, on a sunny 108 degree day. "Fortunately, I have air conditioning in my SUV. I think it is time to head out on a cruise!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more