US diplomat's death suicide?

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 2 July 2007

image for US diplomat's death suicide?
The suicide weapon was similar to this but was fitted with a silencer

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): The Pentagon has come out strongly in favor of a suicide theory behind the mysterious death of US diplomat Lieutenant-Colonel Thomas Mooney, 45, a defense attache in Cyprus.

Mooney was found in a remote part of the island near his locked car four days after he went missing.

US military police said that although the death occured in a lonely and deserted place it was clearly a suicide:

"The fact that Mooney used a silencer on the end of his automatic revolver is just a sign of his normal, courteous disposition at not wanting to attract too much attention to himself," embassy sources said today.

"There is absolutely no signs of foul play," forensic pathologist Dr Marios Matsakis, who carried out the autopsy, said today.

This was confirmed by FBI sources in Washington who came out with a brilliant comparison to other noted suicide cases such as that of ENRON executive Cliff Baxter, who too was found dead from gunshot wounds to his head and had used a silencer in the normal, polite way which was part of his gentlemanly upbringing.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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