Dick Armey & Barney Frank: Fraternal Twins Separated Since Birth

Funny story written by SpaceElevator

Monday, 2 July 2007

image for Dick Armey & Barney Frank: Fraternal Twins Separated Since Birth
Extremely high-powered x-ray image of the twins in utero.

Fargo, North Dakota (The Forum of Fargo-Moorhead) - Former Texas Representative Richard Keith "Dick" Armey and current Massachusetts Representative Barnett "Barney" Frank are actually fraternal twins.

Previously concealed birth records now show that Frank (born March 31, 1940 in Bayonne, New Jersey) and Armey (born July 7, 1940 in Cando, North Dakota) have the same birth mother who gave them up for adoption. Apparently Armey chose to remain in the womb for just a few more months once his brother left. During that time the woman moved from New Jersey to North Dakota.

Frank was eventually raised by Harvard liberals, while Armey was raised by conservative North Dakotans. Behavioral geneticists are extremely interested in studying the pair to help answer the "nature versus nurture" debate.

Armey has been criticized for once referring to the openly homosexual Frank as 'Barney Fag'. Though he never fully apologized (explaining that it was just a slip of the tongue) political pundits now believe that he will need to fully reconcile with his older twin.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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