Written by SpaceElevator

Saturday, 30 June 2007

image for Michael Nifong's Defense: Wild Hare Toxic Shock Syndrome
The wild hare -- now in custody.

North Carolina - Michael Nifong, the former District Attorney of Durham County, North Carolina, put forward a curious but unenviable defense regarding his unfair targeting of three Duke University lacrosse players for allegedly raping a stripper in 2006.

Attempting to clear his name amidst the ethics investigation that surrounds him, Mr. Nifong stated that he actually had "a wild hare up-the-ass" that prevented him from thinking clearly. It is not known when the animal entered Nifong's colon or even how it made its way beyond his sphincter.

The three wrongly-accused players, their wrongly-fired coach and animal rights activists are outraged that Nifong will not take responsibility for his actions, attempting to blame the cute and cuddly creature instead.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Duke Lacrosse

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more