Written by SpaceElevator

Saturday, 30 June 2007

image for Michael Nifong's Defense: Wild Hare Toxic Shock Syndrome
The wild hare -- now in custody.

North Carolina - Michael Nifong, the former District Attorney of Durham County, North Carolina, put forward a curious but unenviable defense regarding his unfair targeting of three Duke University lacrosse players for allegedly raping a stripper in 2006.

Attempting to clear his name amidst the ethics investigation that surrounds him, Mr. Nifong stated that he actually had "a wild hare up-the-ass" that prevented him from thinking clearly. It is not known when the animal entered Nifong's colon or even how it made its way beyond his sphincter.

The three wrongly-accused players, their wrongly-fired coach and animal rights activists are outraged that Nifong will not take responsibility for his actions, attempting to blame the cute and cuddly creature instead.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Duke Lacrosse




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