Jesse Jackson Apologizes to Duke Lacrosse Players

Funny story written by Doug Burrell

Tuesday, 17 April 2007

Jesse Jackson today issued an apology to the Duke Lacrosse players who were wrongly accused of raping a black woman last year.

Today, after much consideration, I'd like to take this occasion to offer my consolation to the Duke athletes for my false accusation. This orientation is intended to be a celebration and appreciation throughout the nation for racial relation with all Caucasian. Let us give an ovation for racial harmonization . Though they were in a state of inebriation at the time of the alleged sexual altercation, they chose to resist the temptation to act on the sweet sensation that come with sexual relation and caused me one impregnation in a similar situation. I give them my commendation and offer them my recommendation for a nomination to a high authorization in my organization.


Rev. Jesse Jackson

From The Doug Report ©

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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