Bono To Play: Duke Lacross Invites Rutgers Women's BBall To Mixer

Funny story written by KEN RYNNE

Thursday, 12 April 2007


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image for Bono To Play: Duke Lacross Invites Rutgers Women's BBall To Mixer
Bono, a cause celeb

(Neverland) -- In another display of a new wave of love, peace, and understanding permeating the American social landscape in the wake of the Imus "Slur heard 'round the world," The Duke University Men's Lacrosse team, largely white, had invited the Rutgers University Women's Basketball team, largely black, to a mixer, or dance, and get acquainted or olde fashioned rap session at an undisclosed location rumored to be the Imus ranch in New Mexico. International musician, peace activist, and cause celeb Bono will perform.

The Duke students, white and male at an affluent private school, were accused last year of sexual assault on a black female dancer during an off-campus house party. The hue and cry of racism, sexism, and wealth disparity in the media outran and apparently overcame the judicial system in North Carolina. The heady mix of sex, race, and wealth made the case national news and a cause celeb among "cause celebs" including Revs Sharpton, Jackson, and the media. More heat than light was shed on the issue by visiting "cause celebs."

The Rutgers students, black and female at a prestigious state school, were recently slurred by Don Imus on his national TV and radio program. The denouement is well documented in Apologies, appropriately, have been made. Meetings will be held between Imus, Rutgers students, clergy, at al. Appropriately.

But last week, the day after the Rutgers' students' very impressive and moving press conference to introduce the "people behind the headline," the charges against the Duke students were dismissed as "unfounded" after an independent investigation was concluded by the North Carolina Attorney General.

North Carolina officials added that the local prosecutor had unethically withheld exculpatory evidence favorable to the students' defense. The exotic dancer's corroborating witness, also recanted her testimony.

The Duke students' lives and treasure paying attorneys for a year to defend against false charges were affected significantly amid the rush to judgment fanned in part by spiritual leaders rushing to support the alleged victim. Some saw shades of Tawana Browley's false charges of rape that divided NYC with the able assistance of Rev Sharpton. Sharpton has never apologized for his demagoguery.

It was unknown at press time whether Rev Sharpton or Rev Jackson will come to Duke to apologize, or meet the "people behind the headlines." he could at least chaperone the mixer, some noted.

Spokepeople for the spiritual leaders suggested that other duties may keep them in NYC this week. Sharpton and Jackson, along with Jesus and HRH Prince Harry are locked in a fight for Imus's broadcast time slots as reported previously in

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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