Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 12 June 2007

image for Bush's Rolex stolen in Albania
The CIA apparently bugged Bush's platinum Rolex to keep track of the psycho

Tirana - (Ass Mess): President Bush's much admired limited edition platinum Rolex wristwatch has been stolen during a hand-shaking walkabout in the Albanian capital of Tirana today.

The watch, reportedly a 60th birthday present from former Saudi Arabian ambassador to the USA Prince Bandar, was the President's 'pride and joy' according to White House sources.

Bandar has been in the news recently after being named as the dodgy recipient of over £1.2 billion of the UK's BAE arms-dealing slush funds over a 30 year period.

Meanwhile in Tirana continuous rumors have said that the Bush wristwatch has been the only way the CIA ever managed to bug the President by sticking a microphone and tracking device inside its Swiss-made jewelled innner mechanism.

Bush wore it 'day in day out' and was so attached to it he even slept with it on at all times, according to sources.

Albanian TV coverage of the presidential walkabout shows a delighted crowd giving him a typical hero's welcome at the Fushe Kruje (translation: 'fish country') town just outside Tirana.

But closer inspection of the footage shows some nifty local footwork as the Presidential handshake goes horribly wrong and eager hands remove the pride and joy from his outstretched arm.

Bush's visit to the tiny Balkan country is the first ever by an American president and has been described by the White House as hysteric.

As a PR exercise in arselicking Albania has so far scored top points for issuing three postage stamps with Bush's face on them as well as pictures of the Statue of Liberty.

Their wooing of the US President also resorted to renaming a major thoroughfare outside the Albanian parliament in his honor and awarded him their highest gallantry award, the National Flag Medal.

In addition the town where he was robbed, Fushe Kruje, has also declared him an honoured citizen.

As for the watch, police are said to be 'baffled' by its disappearance.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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