US and A - Afghanistan's Bactrian Collection, a hoard of more than 20,000 precious gold and culturally significant artifacts, has been turned over to the National Geographic Society and National Endowment for the Humanities in exchange for a half-dozen holiday bulbs and some strips of tinsel.
Each member of the National Endowment for the Humanities will get to spend 24 hours with the collection to do with as they please. "This will give each of us the opportunity to inscribe our name on the collection," asserted NEH Chairman Bruce Cole. "It makes sense because we don't have any crown jewels of our own, unless you count Hawaii -- which we don't."
In exchange for having their national treasure pimped out to the lowest bidder, the people of Afghanistan will each receive a ten-dollar-off coupon from Wal-Mart.
Furthermore, the government of Afghanistan will receive forty-percent of "total revenue". Since expenses will far exceed receipts, this should be no problem. As we all should have learned in school -- except for many Afghans who never had the opportunity -- forty-percent of zero returns nothing.