The Real Story Behind Rosie Leaving 'The View'

Funny story written by TomFoolery

Wednesday, 2 May 2007

image for The Real Story Behind Rosie Leaving 'The View'
The American Public as Rosie Sees Us

NEW YORK (Pulp Friction)-Controversy seems to find a way to surround those in the limelight with no talent, no looks, no brains and no business opening their mouths when nothing but greenhouse gases escape to infect and infuriate us all. Rosie O'Donnell is no exception. In fact, she's the rule.

The has-been loser of a daytime diva-in-disgrace would have us all believe her hasty aloha ala-boot-to-the-colossal-caboose from ABC's 'The View' was the result of a breakdown in contract negotiations. Au contraire, mon frere! Nothing could be farther from the truth. Well, it may be true, but it's not the main motive behind Rosie's Retreat.

And, while she 'came out' as a dynamic dyke some time ago, that, too, was just another of 'Rotten Rosie's' pernicious ploys to perplex the public. Her much maligned 'marriage' to long-time girly friend Kelly had even Kelly herself fooled right up until she read this very story. Sorry, Kelly. Guess you'll have to find yourself another 'sugar mama!'

Even the Donald Trump thing was a 'Rosie ruse." Yep. Just a sly smoke screen to sidetrack society from her sinister scenario. Shameful! Sure, they had it out on and off the air, but Donald would have been better off getting a do-over of his comb-over than to wrestle rhetorical with Rosie Rotunda. All the while we were scratching our heads in wonder and dismay, the Donald was adding zeroes to his bottom line and the obese O' was orchestrating her outlandish objective.

We should have seen it coming, but we were either too much in denial, to disgusted, or basically bored, I guess. The harsh reality is almost too much to bear. Facing the fiendish facts is a fearsome fete for folks to fathom. Telling the terrible truth is tantamount to taking twenty-two Tylenols to try to tame a tenacious tootheache.

Okay, here goes! And remember, folks, you heard it here at first! Rosie, in spite of her persistent presidential persecution and happy homo hyperbole, has agreed to be the 'number 2' to Hillary (not Rodham anymore) Clinton in the radical race for the Libocrat nomination for President of the United States in 2008.

Obama (not Osama) better look out, 'cause his outlook as of now ain't exactly all that ROSIE!!! The only thing that could possibly be worse than Bill and Monica in the White House would be two women of questionable sexual orientation running our country into the ground.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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