Government Targets Shy People

Funny story written by Javi Ending

Wednesday, 2 May 2007

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In private, this loner acts like he's cool. In reality, he's just a shy lonely nerd.

The recent Virginia Tech Massacre has everybody on the lookout for the next possible mass murderer. At the urging of President Bush, government officials are hunting down those who, in their view, might present a dangerous threat.

President Bush commented on the recent crackdown by saying: "Our country is in a state of panic, and we now know of the dangers shy people pose to society. Who knows what's going on in their heads all the time they're silent. They might even be thinking stuff".

Government officials are advising teachers and parents to report these non-talkers to the police.

"Our school has issued a new rule where each student must speak at least 2 sentences within every 30-minute period"- Said a school director who wished to remain anonymous (which is a good idea as he could become a target of the quiet).

Many schools have also issued similar rulings and so far, 43 shy people have been reported to authorities in hopes of stopping the next timid terror. We caught up with Jason Shrevel, a shy person who was reported to authorities in Kentucky and had this to say "…".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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