Written by Mark

Thursday, 5 April 2007

image for Superman Sectioned
Kent, subdued yesterday

Clark Kent, secret alter ego of Superman (shh), has been involuntarily committed under mental health law today following several complaints from his fellow co-workers at The Daily Planet.

Staff at The Daily Planet newspaper offices in Metropolis have been constantly worried about Kent's health since he first began working there.

Editor-in-chief for The Daily Planet, Perry White, told us: "Clark's always been a bit of an odd-ball. He's quite a loner, doesn't get out much, never really takes the time to relax. It seemed obvious to me he was going to burn himself out at some point."

The worries for Kent's mental health are mostly related to him leaving piles of his clothes in places including, but not limited to: lifts, phone boxes, alleyways, and taxis. People also say Kent is elusive, has a very short attention span, and regularly leaves abruptly mid conversation.

Close colleague Jimmy Olsen said: "Personally, I think Clark is nuts. I don't have many friends so I'm quite used to people plain ignoring me, but old CK is completely different. Just last Thursday I was making him a cup of coffee, I turned my back for a split second and he was gone. All that was left was a torn shirt and his pants."

So far police and hospital staff have refused to comment on the situation.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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