At a press conference in Stockholm Sweden Lars-Lars Johannsen-Johannsen, Equal Member Of The Nobel Committee With The Responsibility Of Running Meetings. (EMOTNCWTRORM for short) announced that Antonella Barba would be the first recipient of the new Nobel Prize for Piece.
Reading from a prepared statement EMOTNCWTRORM Johannsen-Johannsen said:
"For too long the Nobel Prize has been reserved for the talented, the creative, the people of genius. The Nobel Prize has become an elitist award to which the vast majority of humanity could not aspire. By instituting the Nobel Prize for Piece we have taken a stand for the mediocrities of the world. We have come down on the side of the unintelligent, uncreative, boring, and banal.
"The Committee thought that it had sent a clear signal to the world of our changing attitudes when we awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace to Jimmy Carter and the Nobel Prize for Literature to Toni Morrison. We were wrong. Thus we created a special prize for mediocrity among women that could not be confused with the other prizes.
"Ms. Barba is the perfect recipient. She has show that anyone with a nice smile and a killer body who is willing to spend two hours a week at a tanning salon can become famous without displaying any discernible talent. She serves as an inspiration to the billions of mediocrities who inhabit this world and watch American Idol.
"Next year we will be initiating a Nobel Hunk Prize to be awarded to the man who meets the demanding criteria of our committee. I am sure that I will surprise no one that ARNOLD Schwarzenegger is a top contender for this award."
Mr. Johannsen-Johannsen announced the other winners of the 2007 Nobel Prizes: Physics-Al Gore; Chemistry-Al Gore; Economics-Al Gore; and, Medicine-Al Gore.
Mr. Johannsen-Johannsen also announced that this year's Nobel Prize program would feature a fold out centerfold of Ms. Barba getting an all-round tan at her favorite tanning salon.
