Sylvester Stallone charged with taking performance enhancing drugs

Funny story written by Breeze

Tuesday, 13 March 2007


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Sylvester Stallone charged with taking performance enhancing drugs
Rocky star in drug hell

An Australian court last night sensationally charged 'Rocky' star, Sylvester Stallone, with taking performance enhancing drugs.

The case has been adjourned until April 24th, when the 64 year old's legal representatives will be asked to enter a plea.

The 'Rambo' star could face a hefty fine if found guilty and possibly a lengthy jail service.

A Tinsel Town spokesman told us, "These performance enhancing drugs are the scourge of Hollywood. Actor's take them in order to get an Oscar nomination but they don't realise the damage they are doing to their bodies. Stallone has been suspected of taking them for years ever since he did a reasonable job on 'Copland'."

Other actors have admitted taking performance enhancing drugs in the past.

Mission Impossible star, Tom Cruise admitted that he had being using them during the filming of 'Born on the 4th of July' and 'Rainman' but stopped, after his penis shrank and he developed anal warts.
After a successful stint in rehab, Cruise's penis has grown to a healthy 3 inches and his films are shit again.

Professor J Caringbunny, of the Actors Studio, told us, "Many actors are not really good enough to be in films and without these drugs, they would even find it difficult to get into Panto. Take Nicholas Cage for example .......... he's just shit at acting, and yet, there he is, week after week topping the blockbuster movie charts. He's definately on something and I have it on good authority that he has a tiny cock!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more