Tom Cruise tells police, 'I shot Britney Spears' pussy after it caused my cock to swell'

Written by Breeze

Saturday, 17 February 2007

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Britney's cat today

You couldn't make it up........well, I suppose you could. Diminuitive Hollywood star, Tom Cruise, found himself in hot water yesterday after he shot Britney Spear's pussy.

The Mission Impossible star claims that Miss Spears' pet cat had got into his garden and attacked several of his prized Bantam fighting cocks.

Cruise has long been a fighting cock enthusiast and began breeding the birds in 1992. He claims that, although none of the birds were killed, his champion, 'Kentucky Red', was so shaken by the incident that it has caused the rooster to balloon to twice it's normal size.

"How can I put him in a cock ring now?" fumed the Oscar winning midget, "He's my best cock and now he can barely stand up because that bloody woman can't control her pussy."

Spears has claimed that Cruise had no right to shoot at her pussy and has said that she will be pursuing legal action against the star.

"That little shit did this on purpose," said a clearly irate Brittney, "My pussy never touched his cock. He's making it all up."

You couldn't make it up!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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