Trump To Declare Victory Election Night

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Monday, 2 November 2020

image for Trump To Declare Victory Election Night
"Yeah, I really did win it after all!"

Donald Trump, the national screw up, plans to declare victory on election night even before the total number of votes are counted. Networks are planning to go black if he attempts this, or to continue with their round table discussions, ignoring Trump's premature announcement.

Afterward, when the true numbers and the winner is announced, Trump can claim the election was stolen. “Did you see that? I already had it in the bag, and they took it away from me.”

This will produce a civil war in the streets among Trump supporters. Trump will call in the national guard, declare a freeze on the inauguration, until things are settled, and maybe in a few months, his Supreme Court will decide to keep things as is. The true vote count was lost somehow, and besides, Trump already knows how all the light switches work in the White House.

Or Biden will declare victory as soon as he reaches 270 electoral votes. Order the military to be posted at every doorway in the White House until January 20th, no more gruesome Christmas decorations by Melania Trump, fumigate the White House on January 19, along with Air Force One, and begin restoring the Jackie Kennedy Rose Garden.

Finally, the great moment when Trump takes the escalator going back up to where he came from, and closing the book on his nightmarish four-year occupancy of the White House.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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