Senate Republicans Racing To Trump’s Defense

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Monday, 14 September 2020

image for Senate Republicans Racing To Trump’s Defense
"I'm looking for my lipstick."

Senate Republicans are rolling out of bed, instantly defending Trump’s failed actions on the coronavirus pandemic. Yes, Trump played golf. Yes, Trump watches a lot of television. So he said coronavirus was like a bad cold, and that it would go away like a miracle. What was he supposed to do, scream, “Doomsday! We’re all going to die!”?

Now that Robert Woodward’s book, RAGE, has been presented to the public, Trump and his cronies are back-pedaling, playing defense for Trump’s incompetence.

“It doesn’t bother me,” said Senator Kevin Cramer of North Dakota. “I don’t feel like he was ever lying to anybody. He’s a hopeful, upbeat, positive person.”

There are 16,000 people sick from the virus in North Dakota, and 173 have died, but Senator Cramer is still defending Trump’s incompetence. Or saying, Trump’s okay with me. The guy is hopeful, upbeat, a positive person. Deep. Optimistic.

Is that why Trump is siphoning or taking money from the 9/11 Fireman’s Health Fund to build a useless wall on the Mexican border? Where’s the hope, upbeat, positive, and optimistic person there?

Kevin Cramer, the North Dakota Republican Senator, then added, “The gravity of it, when it became clearer, was also reflected by him.”

Huh? Whatever that means!

Spin, confuse, dance, skip, hop, distract, pontificate. Blame Obama. Don’t forget to add: It would have been worse if Joe Biden were in charge.

The Republicans are doing their collective best to put lipstick on this pig, but Woodward has tapes, and more than 200,000 have died.

All Trump had to do was say, “Wear a mask.”

Failure to do so is not an example of optimism.

Read more by this author:

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more