Former first lady, Hillary Rodham Clinton is set to sensationally reveal a history of lesbian activity in a bid to out-do rival, Barrack Obama, who is hoping to become America's first black President.
Sources close to Hillary have been quoted as saying "At first she thought it would be enough of a draw to be the first female President, but Obama came along and just upped the stakes."
Details of Ms Clinton's alleged affairs are said to include a roomate at Wellesley College, an aide to her husband during his early political career and the comedienne, Sandra Bernard. This last choice has been seen by some as a cynical ploy as Bernard is well known to have slept with 93% of the world's population, including this reporter and his geranium.
A further twist in the tale is expected with the announcement this week of a midget scientologist candidate. Spokespersons for Tom Cruise were, however, unavailabe for comment this morning.