Wapoville, Washington DC - Representative Amirakidda Oepedoe Imaslammi, held a crowded press conference today at the Washington Monument to decry the recent shootings, the most recent of which deployed a silenced handgun.
“The sound of gunfire saves lives! It gives people a chance to run and hide!”, he argued.
The new bill not only outlaws gun silencers, it mandates the use of megaphones on the end of every gun barrel.
The bill also mandates that all gun owners consume aspartame in quantities sufficient to ensure their docility.
And of course the bill outlaws outlaws, so we won’t have those to worry about anymore.