Illegal Bananas Pose Threat to U.S. Soft Fruit Industry

Funny story written by President Bush

Saturday, 6 January 2007

image for Illegal Bananas Pose Threat to U.S. Soft Fruit Industry
Banana-Person Raul Iglesias "ponder'n stuff", Laredo County Slammer

President Bush today proposed yet another broad, sweeping unconstitutional anti-terror plan designed again not so much to catch Bin Laden but rather to quell the alarming flow of illegal "Banana-People" crossing our southern borders.

Speaker of the house, Nancy Pelosi, in the new-found spirit of cooperative Bipartisan comrade-re met with the president after hearing of his plan and basically told the president to "Shove it".

De-MONgress (as Republicans spell it), is now in session. And as predicted the entity is apparently wielding the mighty sword of Excalibur's power not unlike a disgruntled toddler who just stumbled upon a loaded Colt 45 and mommy and daddy fast asleep (BANG!).

"Banana People" as they're called in Columbia are, as Ripley's puts it "Bizarre permutations of juxtapositions of animal and plant life."

In layman's term, they're BANANAS that can, for most parts walk, talk and steal your wallet and screw you around just like any other real non-banana human. Unlike humans though, THEY come over here, sell their body parts for cash then scamper back to Columbia to regrow their limbs.

President Bush upon learning of the severity of the problem, thousands of illegal Banana-People crossing over daily said,

"If we ain't let'n the Mexicans in I'll be danged if them BANANAS come over here and ruin Jeb's .. er, I mean OUR soft fruit industry.

Dole, America's largest producer of bananas offered to send it's own "Dole Patrol" to the southern borders to fight along-side the Minute-Men already there to ward off the illegal Mexicans who now, un-beknownst to the Minute-Men take a different route to Houston via Greyhound bus or PriceLine bargain flights.

Banana-People, because of the soft, luscious edible texture of their flesh are always on guard lest some lad on a skateboard whiz by and chop a bite out of their rumps.

"It's a risk we all face coming here" one Banana-Person once told Anderson Cooper before tragically winding up in a pudding on the East side of Phoenix Christmas Eve.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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