Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. Exclusive to Spoof News. "It's not gonna happen!" With that terse comment, President Franklin D. Roosevelt today canceled the long hoped-for meeting between Japanese Prime Minister Hideki Tojo and the American president. Reporters who had accompanied the president on Air Force One from Washington to Honolulu on the first leg of the flight to Singapore were stunned by the president's surprise announcement.
Howard K. Smith, reporting for the Hearst newspaper chain, reminded the president that our ambassador to Japan, Joseph Grew, had repeatedly urged the president to meet with Tojo in an attempt to assure "Peace in the Pacific." "Grew's intentions are good, but he is obsessed with this fear that we will be drawn into a war in Asia. That's not likely. Japan could only attack us by sea, and, as Navy secretary Frank Knox told the American Legion convention in Milwaukee last month, 'Our Navy is Ready.' "
Knox, who came with the president on the now aborted summit trip, met with naval commanders at Pearl Harbor and instructed them to keep the fleet in port until mid-December. Newscaster Charles Collingwood commented: "Grew may think there's a chance of war, but no one here in Honolulu feels that way."