Washington, DC Trump tweeted in the early morning hours that Sean Spicer went about quitting all wrong.
"I wanted to be able to plan it out. He would take the blame for getting something wrong a few more times and then I would show up, live on TV, and FIRE HIM!"
"Just think of the ratings!" said Trump, at a live press conference. "It would have killed!" Trump insisted.
"So I'm taking this opportunity to introduce my newest press secretary. And now this is a guy that you all know and love and who my own personal Secret Service dug up some dirt on...
Trumpeted Trump to a dismayed press crew.