Tokyo, Japan - A consortium of Japanese companies has agreed to provide a teenager for every new television purchased. The offer also extends to computers and any other technology device if the value exceeds $1,000.
"We understand that mainstream Americans cannot figure out how to make our devices work, and they just sit there in boxes, so we are providing the services of a 14-year old with every purchase," stated Jimmy Ito, President of the Consortium.
Upon any purchase, the 14-year old can either be contacted by FaceTime or live at your home for up to two weeks.
Sales by American consumers have increased since the announcement. Says one consumer, who asked not to be named, "The kid lived at my home and knew everything. Not only did he set up my new TV but he coordinated my Wifi, put my photos on the cloud, protected my computer files from viruses, and synced my iPhone. Boy genius I would say."
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