After Pardon Bernie Madoff Set To Chair Federal Reserve

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Monday, 27 February 2017


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As Head of the Federal Reserve, Madoff will invest the nations Social Security funds in the stock market.

There's still a year left for Janet Yellen to serve in her term as the current Federal Reserve Chairperson, yet President Trump has already nominated Bernie Madoff to replace her. The early nomination tactic is probably to see what kind of deal he can swing with senate Democrats and a few reluctant Republicans.

Early indications are that the senate will offer little resistance to Madoff's nomination if they are assured that senate pariah Ted Cruz will be sold to Somali sex traffickers after he returns from a conjugal visit at the Vatican.

In order to serve as the Fed Reserve Chairperson, Madoff will need to be out of the Halliburton Federal Penitentiary, so first President Trump has to pardon Madoff, who is serving a 150 year sentence for running the biggest Ponzi scheme in history.

Madoff spoke to this reporter by phone from the prison about his nomination.

"I'm honored that I'm being considered, and right now I'd like to ask Americans to start making the maximum contributions to their Social Security accounts that they can afford, it's going to give the Fed greater flexibility to put funds in and out of the stock market, and that's one of the most exciting things about what's been happening with the new president's policies."

A recording then cut in to remind this reporter that the call is a collect call coming from a federal prison and that the next five minutes would be another ten dollars. Madoff was quickly thanked and politely said "your welcome" as we ended the call.

Ironically, some of the Republicans who support the President's nomination of Madoff have been Hell bent on dismantling Social Security, calling it the biggest Ponzi scheme ever.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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