Conspiracy Enthusiast at Local Business Office Expects Improvement in Dating Activity Soon

Written by Jaki Treehorn

Saturday, 4 February 2017

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Steve Bannon

New York - Malcolm Brown, a longtime mailroom supervisor at the New York City corporate headquarters of a major office supply firm, is hopeful that the ascension of hero Steve Bannon to powerful position in the Trump Administration will finally earn him the respect of coworkers at the company, especially the female secretaries and professionals that he has been relatively unsuccessful in inviting out on dates in the last few years.

"I have worked here for decades and have updated my fellow staffers on the ongoing struggle of common people against the Illuminati, Council on Foreign Relations and Freemasons. More recently I educated them on the Clinton Body Count and, of course, the Kenyan born Muslim Barack Hussein Obama, and his numerous attempts to have martial law declared followed by his assumption of power in the United States, which was only prevented by news organizations like Breitbart News alerting the public".

"Breitbart is one of about a dozen websites I subscribe to, and I make sure everyone on the office distribution list is updated whenever I receive a new report".

Since the election of Trump and the appointment of Breitbart's former manager Bannon, Brown has been seen pumping his fist and strutting around the office cooler. The triumphant and self empowering feeling he has will, in due time he is sure, endear him to some of the female staffers, attention that has in the past been diverted to some of the "hotshot ad execs" that always seem to be scoring with the women he is trying to hook up with.

"I can feel them getting more interested in my email activity, I think its a matter of time before things in the relationship area pick up for me at the office", said Brown.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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