Conspiracy Theorists THINK They've Discovered How Hillary Cheated at the Debate, But We Now Know the Truth, and it's Even WORSE

Funny story written by Elliott Buchholz

Thursday, 29 September 2016

image for Conspiracy Theorists THINK They've Discovered How Hillary Cheated at the Debate, But We Now Know the Truth, and it's Even WORSE

Two days have passed since the record-breaking debate between Republican presidential nominee Donald J. Trump and Democrat nominee Hillary Clinton.

It was heated and intense. In front of millions of viewers, moderator Lester Holt interrupted Donald Trump 41 times when he repeatedly attempted to talk past the imposed deadline or refused to answer the question he was asked, and yet avoided interrupting Hillary when she actually answered the questions that were asked or stopped when told she had reached her deadline.

This is shameless!

But it gets worse.

Key Republican conspiracy theorists have reviewed the debate on their Betamax tapes from within their basement bunkers and concluded that Hillary was using "signals" such as facial scratches, eye blinking or breathing air, all things that a reasonable person could only conclude as devious acts, to somehow influence the debate.

At first it appeared that the signals were to Lester Holt to indicate he should question some ridiculous thing that Trump said, such as claiming that Clinton was the actual founder and champion of the "Birther Movement". But further review has revealed an even more sinister plot. It has been determined that Clinton WAS indeed sending signals, but not to Holt. Keen review of the tape shows that Clinton had some device under her blouse.

This device has been determined to be some sort of signaling device wired through her podium across to Trump's, delivering a shock that caused him to react wildly and inappropriately, as there is no other reasonable explanation for his bizarre behavior in the latter part of the debate.

It has been discovered that Trumps' responses to questions regarding "Birthergate", his reprehensible treatment of women and other "hot-button" topics were all preceded by these strange motions from Clinton. The "smoking gun" images are the facial expressions demonstrated by Trump as the signals were delivered to him, causing him to go off the rails.

It is believed that the device utilized by the Clinton Camp is the same one used by the notorious ex-Columbia University Professor, Dr. Peter Venkman, during his controversial ESP studies of the early '80s.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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