White House changes Independence Day to Fourth of July

Funny story written by Mark Symms

Friday, 1 July 2016

image for White House changes Independence Day to Fourth of July
The White House.

In order to not offend those of Anglo Saxon heritage, the White House has decided to replace Independence Day with the Fourth of July. Fully one third of the colonists during the American Revolution were loyal to the King and fought against establishing this country. They took up arms to fight those who sought a new Independent nation. And on July 4, 1776. The Declaration of Independence was signed by the members of the Second Continental Congress declaring our Independence from Great Britain.

The ancestors of those loyalists, or Tories as they were called, have flooded the White House email servers demanding that the title Independence Day be changed. They are offended by the title as it shows complete disrespect for their ancestors. Many of their ancestors lost their land in that war and reparations are also being demanded.

So in a show of compassion for those Anglo Saxon descendants who are so offended. The White House has decided to drop the title Independence Day. They wish everyone a Happy Fourth Of July. They encourage Americans to gather together and eat barbeque, hot dogs and hamburgers. And think of all the great things that make us one grand multi cultural nation.

A nameless White House spokesperson said, "This is a day for all Americans, I mean who uses the phrase Independence Day anyway? Let's just eat some hot dogs and hamburgers with our friends and neighbors and quit dwelling on names and phrases that make people uncomfortable. Have a Happy Fourth of July."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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