Flint Michigan Residents Criticize Artists And Entrepreneurs Using And Reselling Dirty Flint Water

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Sunday, 17 April 2016

image for Flint Michigan Residents Criticize Artists And Entrepreneurs Using And Reselling Dirty Flint Water
Sandro Miller's controversial self portrait titled "Flint Christ" shows the artist crucified and submerged in Flint water.

Flint Michigan residents are angry at what they see as blatant profiteering by water re-sellers, artists, as well as non-residents, who are all making a buck off of the city's water crisis according to critics.

One target of Flint neighborhood activists is Jim Chavez, owner of Los Water Guys in Detroit. He brought back 500 gallons of Flint water as a curiosity after delivering clean water to some customers in the area.

"I brought the first load back because mostly I couldn't believe this was coming out of people's taps, I knew the containers would be shot after putting Flint water in them. But within a few days, we were already selling the orange gunk by the gallon, and when we heard about the eBay thing we upped our price too and just sell it by the liter now."

The old stuff, the orange Flint water is the most valuable to collectors. Chavez hauled several loads of the old orange water back to his business in Detroit and doesn't say how much more of it he still has. The Spoof's math experts tell us that 500 gallons of old dirty Flint water is worth nearly $100,000 at current price levels of $50 a liter.

The controversial artist Sandro Miller is bringing his photography of the Flint water crisis to the Museum of Contemporary Art Detroit, Included in his show is his outrage provoking self portrait "Flint Christ." The Self portrait shows Miller as the crucified Christ submerged in Flint water.

One Flint Michigan resident who disliked the artist's appropriation of the city's water woes, said this, "This guy hasn't lived our lives or suffered this crisis and his pictures are going to sell for thousands of dollars and his book will sell for seventy five dollars a pop, and all we get is more cameras in our faces."

When asked about his critics, Miller said, "Look, I'm from Flint, but even if I were not, this is an issue that affects everybody, it could happen anywhere. Also I don't know why this "critic" you talked to on the street is so upset about artists and how we make a living. There is no reason why he can't do his own art project or book, and if he has no money he can hook up with Guerilla Artists of Michigan, and they can get him started, or anyone for that matter, anyone interested in making their artistic visions come true."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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