Massachusetts - Thirteen year-old Sasha Obama remains a stalwart no-show at her family's Martha's Vineyard compound according to tonight's JihadiDaddi TV six o'clock news.
The President's younger daughter is believed to have stuffed a few thousand dollars and her Pop's White House credit card into her knickers before boarding a Mile Hi Club Airways plane bound for Baghdad.
It's thought Ms Obama may be joining a newfound fiancé chosen for her by tribal elders during the knockout stages of this year's Islamic Caliphate Trivial Pursuit Games.
Meanwhile her bewildered family has been out on a Vineyard bicycling photo-op, grinning furiously and (back) peddling like mad to dispel ugly rumors about the brat.
The current Iraqi brideprice remains steady at 500 barrels of sweet light crude plus an iPhone.
Michelle Obama is 69.