K-Mart Changes Employee Dental Coverage: Limits Number of Teeth Covered

Funny story written by Catchthisdrift

Wednesday, 6 August 2014

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K-Mart Electronics Salesman Jasper LePew

Hoffman Estates, Illinois - K-Mart Corporation has changed the dental insurance it provides to employees to limit the number of teeth covered per individual.

K-Mart's previous dental insurance covered all teeth for all paid participants. The new coverage limits the number of teeth covered to six per individual participant, whether that participant is enrolled as a single person or as part of a family plan.

K-Mart further limited the coverage so that it covers the same teeth for the term of the coverage. That means that a participant cannot choose specific teeth for one visit to the dentist, and then on the next visit change which teeth are covered. That limitation is expected to have a greater effect in the northern part of the United States than it will have in the deep south.

Said K-Mart spokesman Albert Finney, "While it is true that the participant having to choose six specific teeth could have an affect on employees in our more northern stores, it shouldn't have much of an effect in our southern stores because most people don't even have six teeth."

Jasper LePew of New Orleans agreed with Finney. Said LePew "we don't go to no dentist that much anyway, and even the youngins don't usually have no more than four or five teeth."

The changes go into effect on January 1st, 2015.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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