Cheney Says He's Just Amoral, Not Immoral

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Monday, 7 July 2014

image for Cheney Says He's Just Amoral, Not Immoral

Former Vice-President Dick Cheney, who convinced George W. Bush to engage in the U.S. invasion of Iraq, today defended himself on "Meet The Press."

"Sure a million or so of people were killed and we lost about $3 Trillion but we won the battle for oil. Saddam Hussein wouldn't let my oil buddies into Iraq. But now ExxonMobil and Chevron to BP and Shell, the West's largest oil companies have set up shop in Iraq," said Cheney to host David Gregory.

Gregory then asked, " So you agree with General Abizaid, head of operations in Iraq when he said, 'Of course it's about oil; we can't really deny that."

"Oh, hell yes," said Cheney. "I'll trade blood for oil any day of the week. I've got investments you know."

"Would George W. Bush agree with you?" asked Gregory.

"He's an oilman too, David."

"But thousands of Americans were killed and terribly wounded and now we learn that about 400,000 have got PTSD from that war," said the Meet The Press host.

"Yeah, but they all get to be called 'heroes.' Without military service most of them would have just led ordinary lives. But now, in America, the word 'hero' is close to the flag and the Bible in terms of respect and adulation. It's a wonderful thing," said Cheney.

"Some would say that you're immoral, Mr. Vice-President. How do you defend yourself against that charge?" asked Gregory.

"Oh, I'd just say I'm amoral, not immoral. I've never had a keen sense about right and wrong. Some of us are just that way. So, condemning us for being for being narcissistic or sociopathic just doesn't make sense. You have to walk in our shoes to know what I mean," said Mr. Cheney.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more