Excavations begin at Warren Jeffs' seized FLDS Yearning For Zion ranch

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 1 May 2014

image for Excavations begin at Warren Jeffs' seized FLDS Yearning For Zion ranch
Authorities reckon Jeffs could have stashed as much as $100m in illicit bullion

Eldorado, Texas - Workmen from the Texas Department of Public Safety were seen deploying ground-penetrating radar equipment today in what looked like a recce mission to scan the ranch's 1,600 acres sequestered from convicted polygamist pervert Warren Jeffs.

The huge and largely isolated compound has long been rumored to contain a secret stash of buried gold bullion, hidden by Jeffs as a sort of 'insurance' before his incarceration for life for kiddie crimes.

Quite what is buried at the notorious Yearning For Zion fundamentalist nutters' paradise HQ remains unclear despite claims of a tip-off to the Texas courts that seized the property that something terrible is waiting to be exhumed.

Jeffs, who has refused to cooperate with the forfeiture process as beneath his dignity as a senior church elder, whiles away his custodial life sentence for despicable paedo abuse in the name of The Lord by acting as if nothing can ever be proved.

However in 2010 federal tax authorities filed a claim for more that $100million of missing gold which they claim Jeffs had purchased through illegal activity.

Jeffs' massive and overbearing Eldorado FLDS temple could now be razed to the ground.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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