Shooting Star Injures 11

Funny story written by bengedrink

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

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This afternoon at Westfarms Mall in Farmington, CT former child star Nick Terringsley shot 11 people, killing four and injuring seven. Terringsley, known as "Lil Oakley" from the popular 1980's sitcom "Grace of Spades," fired several rounds into the crowded mall food court at approximately 1:13 pm. Victims include a young mother and her two children, all in critical condition at a local hospital.

Since the conclusion of "Grace of Spades" in 1988, Terringsley has had numerous run ins with the law, including a public indecency citation in 1992, and an arrest for possession of narcotics in 1998. The actor recently made headlines for soliciting sex from a male police officer, who was not under cover, outside a local police station.

Police Chief Sgt. Bill Dodd made this comment after Terringsley had been apprehended: "We have the suspect in custody. I assure the community that justice will be served, as the maximum penalty for this heinous crime will be sought out. Our thoughts are with the victims and their families. Thank you."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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