CHARLESTON, West Virginia - (Satire News) - After going back and forth on the issue of adultery, the West Virginia Senate has voted by a vote of 53 to allow it, 41 to not allow it, and with 5 abstentions. Senator Hortina Hortellini [R-Mine Wine, W…
AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - The largest organic natural food supermarket chain in America has just made a name-changing announcement. A franchise spokesperson, for the company that is owned by Amazon owner Jeff Bezos, has informed the news me…
HILLBILLY HILL, West Virginia - (Satire News) - River experts are puzzled as to the reason why West Virginia's Monongahela River has turned royal blue. Several residents have said that they were afraid to put their fishing boats in the water for f…
COAL DUST, West Virginia – (Satire News) – Thousands of law-abiding West Virginians are jumping for joy after the West Virginia Senate voted 53 to 47 to finally prohibit cousins from doing the nasty (boinking) with their fellow cousins. Senator W…
BILLINGSGATE POST: “Pardon me. But can I borrow your teeth?” While campaigning in a rural area of West Virginia in 2019, Joe Biden was unable to keep his chain of thought as he read from his Teleprompter. There was an elderly lady in the front row w…
CHARLESTON, West Virginia – (Satire News) – The West Virginia Puritan Association is bragging about the fact that they have finally been successful in getting the West Virginia legislature to ban ass cheek-showing short shorts. WVPA Assistant Vice…
SQUIRREL NUTS, West Virginia – Willie and Billie Peckerpucker say that, due to the Coronapalooza virus, they have not been able to work at their coal mining jobs for three months. Willie said they each get $47 a week unemployment, but, after they…
Eight-year-old Jack Strait of Morgantown, West Virginia, isn't overly concerned about the worsening economic downturn or rising college tuition rates; he's got another career option in mind. Jack recently informed his parents that he intends to be a...
Berkeley County, West Virginia - Following in the footsteps of Kim Davis, Berkeley County clerk, Jean Birman is refusing to issue birth certificates to children of unwed parents citing her ultra conservative religion. Her religion strongly condem...
WHEELING, WV -- U.S. Sen. Joe Manchin said he is flattered by those supporters who are encouraging him to run for president, but he would have to first tap into the wisdom of his most trusted mentor, Obi-Wan Kenobi, before making a decision on whethe...
West Virginia Governor Earl Ray Tomblin has been included in a magazine's list of celebrities and public figures whose names make them sound like serial killers. Serial Killer Magazine recently asked their readers for input in compiling a Top 10 l...
ALMOST HEAVEN, WV - The West By God Virginia Teachers' Union is up in arms over a proposed dress code for the state's educators, which forbids flip-flops, jeans, tank tops, and facial piercings, among other "attire." "How dare they tell me how to...
For years educated West Virginians and outsiders criticized rural residents for serving children Mountain Dew. Now, a month into a water crisis caused by a chemical spill, all residents have become Mountain Dew drinkers. "I was very hesitant, but...
CHARLESTON, West Virginia - State Senator Marlene W. Pillwater [D-Philippi] has just announced that the state senate has passed a bill which will change the 9-1-1- emergency number. Senator Pillwater said that after a heated debate on the senate f...
Community organizers from two groups whose purpose is to better education, health, safety, and environmental quality have refused to stay in the state of West Virginia. They have opened up a website exposing the futility of working there and have...
A report has appeared in the West Virginia Mountaineer that some guards have reported aliens or very freaky humans near the chemical spill there. "I hope it's not humans that are mutating into what we saw but maybe aliens from another planet might...
Freedom Industries Explores Its Freedom To Pollute The Waterways Of West Virginia Freedom Industries, the more-important-than-humans industry conveniently located next to the major river supplying water to nine counties of a rural portion of West...
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