Man, 20ish, Found Wandering Near Elko Says He Was Abducted by Aliens and Given a Mullet

Funny story written by Wumf

Sunday, 23 February 2014

image for Man, 20ish, Found Wandering Near Elko Says He Was Abducted by Aliens and Given a Mullet
Do you recognize this man?

ELKO, NEVADA - Today police authorities in Elko reported the mysterious appearance of a young man, probably in his early 20's, who was found semi-dazed, wandering in the desert outside of town last Wednesday.

A truck driver, Elmer Comstock, of Snake Pit, Montana, noticed the man as he was pulling his rig out of a rest area on Sunday morning. He became concerned because the man was stumbling along parallel to the highway, dressed only in a pair of pajama bottoms and a flimsy t-shirt.

According to Comstock, "This young guy was barefoot and it was pretty chilly out in the early morning. I figured he got accidentally left behind by a family member pulling a trailer. When it stopped at the rest area, I figured this guy got out to go to the bathroom and the driver didn't know - happens all the time. Anyway, I stopped to ask him if he was okay, and when I did he just fell over. That's when I called 911."

Following a health check at a local hospital, where he spent a few nights recuperating from exposure and dehydration, the man was released to police custody because he didn't know who he was. He appeared to have amnesia and made a claim that was even more farfetched. He told police the only thing he remembered was being aboard an alien spaceship. While he was there they shaved the hair off the top of his head and gave him a mullet.

When police asked the man what the aliens looked like he replied that they were enveloped in a bright light that hurt his eyes. He could not detect features, only the basic form of each one. He said they were about five inches taller than he is and he's 5' 7". They were also speaking a language he didn't recognize. The sounds of the language were similar to those a bass saxophone might make.

The man is currently staying at the Elko homeless shelter until police can locate someone who recognizes him. Anyone with information concerning the identify of this man should contact the Elko Police Dept.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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