Bowling Alley Employee Rescues 'Fan-like' UFO from Pin Setting Machine

Funny story written by Asheville Jack

Thursday, 20 February 2014

image for Bowling Alley Employee Rescues 'Fan-like' UFO from Pin Setting Machine
Photoshop rendering of strange UFO as described by witnesses

Reno, NV. - One minute Justin Fardner was about to leave work. The next he was pulling a buzzing UFO from a dangerous apparatus used to reset bowling pins.

Fardner, a 69-year-old part-time employee and retired Braille translator, had just ended his shift at Star Lanes in Reno and was about to leave the building when a commotion caught his attention.

He turned and observed a shiny object that resembled an old-fashion electric fan floating above a bowling alley and heading directly toward the pins.

Seconds later, the object passed a laser that triggered a reset mechanism that assumed a bowling ball had just passed by. Suddenly a mechanized arm dropped and pulled the small UFO and the downed pins into a pit behind the bowling lane. At the same time, a pin setter descended from above to collect pins that were still standing.

Ignoring his own personal safety, Fardner raced down the lane, running along the top of the area between the lanes, a path that offered more surefire footing than the slippery, oiled lanes. "I saw that it was about the same size as a bowling ball," said Fardner about the UFO, "Round and maybe slightly bigger."

Manny Fishburn of Coulee was bowling in the next lane when he said a shiny object past by his head mere inches away. "Everyone had stopped bowling except me 'cause I was concentrating on a four - ten split, but I'll spare you the details," Coulee said with a grin. "Then I saw this thing teetering back and forth near the pin area like it was confused... then it was dragged into the pit, and we were watching the pin setter come down."

Onlookers watched in amazement as the mechanized arm swept the downed pins and the fan-like UFO into the ball pit. "Everyone was gasping. This UFO thingy was in really serious trouble," Fishburn said. Then Fishburn noticed Fardner dashing toward the UFO. "He got down there real fast like," Fishburn said. "He didn't think twice about anything. He just reacted." As Fardner reached the end of the lane, he hit a "kill" switch that stopped the machinery moving the pins. Then he reached in for the UFO.

"It was making this buzzing sound and seemed like maybe it was afraid to move, but it didn't look like it had been hurt none," Fardner said. "I slid it towards me and as I held it it seemed to quiet down a little bit," he said.

Fardner, who is 5 feet 7 inches tall and weighs 140 pounds, said his narrow build allowed him to maneuver around the pin-clearing machinery and reach the UFO. As both he and the Unidentified Flying Object cleared the mechanisms it quickly righted itself and after several seconds headed straight for the exit.

In a strange repetition of nearly every other UFO sightings, despite dozens of onlookers all armed with cell phones, no video of the bizarre event was actually recorded.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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