Poll of US First Ladies says Jackie Kennedy 'worst by far' for ordering husband's assassination

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Saturday, 15 February 2014


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Pat Nixon and Barbara Bush were married to assholes described as little better than human excrement

New York - A new poll of American First Ladies commissioned by the New York Toast has named Jackie Kennedy as the nation's all-time worst for hiring shooters to top her husband 'after he found out about Russian ballet dancer Rudolf Nureyev fathering their son JFK Jr' and other dreadful stuff.

Next, in joint second place are Pat Nixon and Barbara Bush for tolerating and failing to dump husbands described as 'little better than human excrement' if all those conspiracy theories are to be believed.

Hillary Clinton also fares badly for putting up with a vain and horrible bastard like Comeback Kid Bill to further her own ego tripping career as well as for keeping schtum about the two-bullet suicide of the couple's former Rose Law partner Vince Foster.

Also top of the rubbish heap in pollsters' estimation are Laura Bush and Rosalynn Carter, both of whose marriages were little better than squalid mercenary arrangements designed to make sanitise the horrible morons elected to the White House.

As for Michelle Obama the jury's still out, deliberating on her superb stand-up act of channeling the nation's Mom-In-Chief while brazening out the whole Audacity of Dope stuff with countless battery-acid grimaces.

Bess Wallace Truman, who would have been 90 on Monday next week, was probably the best First Lady ever in Capitol Hill.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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