Why Should We Pay Our Presidents For Screwing Interns And Playing Golf?

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 10 February 2012


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BILLINGSGATE POST - Former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger once said that, "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac." If this is true, why should we have to pay our presidents if they spend most of their time screwing interns and playing golf? They should pay us for allowing them to use the White House as a brothel.

With the revelation of debutante Mimi Alford that she was a'hosin and a'blowsin JFK for 18 months between his golf rounds at Congressional Country Club and other choice golf venues, along with the many stories of SWC (Slick Willie Clinton) suffering through episodes of phone sex and air starts with Monica Lewinsky in the Oval Office, it sure sounds like these guys have too much time on their hands.

Although the job of president seems to prematurely age the men who hold this position, it's not staying up nights worrying about the Cold War or making plans to zap Osama bin Laden that turns their hair grey; it's worrying about the wife walking in while you're banging an intern, at the same time you are on the phone telling Khrushshev to stick his head between his legs and kiss his ass goodby if he doesn't get his missiles out of Cuba. And then taking the wife and kids to church on Sunday morning, having a liaison with Marilyn Monroe after breakfast, and then a quick 18 holes in the afternoon before cocktails and Cuban cigars on the veranda.

Look at our present moron-in-chief. He has it all; A doting wife who would lay his head open if he tried any of the above, two wonderful daughters and a devoted dog. Although his hair has also greyed, it's because his cerebellum doesn't get enough oxygen to think and service his follicles at the same time.

He bounces around the globe scrumming with billionaire preverts, social diletantes and rehabilitated terrorist friends from Chicago. In between this, he arranges to play basketball with his buddies and tee it up a couple of times a week.

If power is the ultimate aphrodisiac, why should we have to pay presidents for giving them this fix?

NOTE: Please keep your cards and letters coming.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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